The 6 Traits of a Good Doctor
When you have long term health concerns such as autoimmunity, diabetes and a number of other conditions where you would need to be seen frequently, it is very important that you find yourself a doctor with whom you feel comfortable. As a health coach I help my clients communicate their issues better with their doctors. I emphasise the importance of having a good relationship with this vital person in your care team.
Look over and think about these aspects of the interaction between yourself and the doctor(s) who you see often. Are you getting the best care or have you accepted certain aspects of your interactions as negative but unavoidable? There are many doctors who are truly excellent in every way I describe below. It is worth taking the time to find them and feel genuinely cared for.
1. Compassionate Listening and Understanding
A doctor is someone who helps you when you are ill. We go to them when we are vulnerable and suffering, and reveal things about our health that we may not share with anyone else. That involves a great deal of trust, and so it is a job which requires a great deal of empathy. A good doctor will be able to listen compassionately to your history and experience of symptoms and be able to ask the right questions to truly understand the problem. They would thereby make you feel heard. (It is not uncommon for many to receive this compassion as a healing experience in and of itself and through that placebo effect start to feel better after visiting a doctor they really trust.) Once you feel like they really care, you are able to feel more reassured in the steps they ask you to take in addressing your concern. Your compliance is likely to be much higher.
2. Attention and Memory
Given the volume of patients many doctors interact with on a daily basis, it can be difficult for them to keep in mind the histories and subtle details about each person’s problems but good doctors can, and do so. When they walk into the room, they know you, remember your case details, your history, perhaps they even know what you do for a living or some details about your family. They are fully present and focused on you during your visit. They make eye contact when you are conversing. Their presence and intensity of their attention can be felt as they are being both observant and reassuring. You can tell that they care and they are doing their best for you.
3. Warranted Confidence and Positivity
A knowledgeable and experienced doctor is necessary. That should go without saying. But in order for you to trust them and feel safe in their hands, they also need to emanate confidence. Even if things look troubling, a positive attitude from them communicates hope. They may say something like “15% of the patients with this condition show improvement within X months. I’d like to outline some things we can do to help you become one of them!” rather than “85% of the patients with this condition will live with it for the rest of their lives and it will only get worse with age, so prepare yourself.” While the latter may seem more ‘honest’ to prepare the patients and their loved ones for a major change, decades of research show the importance of the placebo effect and the importance of hope in influencing outcomes.
4. Partnership without Fear
A doctor is your partner in your health journey. They bring such a wealth of training, knowledge and experience to help you heal. A good doctor will ensure your goals are aligned and work with you on achieving them in the most effective way regarding your comfort, time and money. In all likelihood they will not recommend tests or medications unnecessarily but if they do, it is important that you talk to your doctor if you feel uncomfortable with any suggestions they make. For example, if they have asked you to undergo some tests or treatment which feel excessive, invasive or dangerous given the current symptoms, you should be able to voice your concern and ask for alternative, less invasive tests that could give you similar information. You should feel comfortable to ask for more information to understand why such a test or treatment is really required. You should also be able to ask how the test results will impact your treatment and for information about long term consequences. In many cases these recommendations may not be critical or urgent. It is worth asking to find out. The old fashioned relationship between an authoritarian doctor who tells you what to do and a passive patient who unquestioningly obeys does not offer a partnership. Informed consent is required for all treatment. Ensuring that you feel comfortable to ask questions, seek second opinions, and choose otherwise if and when necessary without fear that your doctor will feel offended is important. It shows that your doctor is not letting their ego stand in the way of your care.
5. Integrity
A good doctor is honest, respectful, unbiased and humane. They would not put you through unnecessary tests or procedures to collect more data or generate more income for themselves or their clinic/hospital. They would not keep you on unnecessary medications for longer than you need, or recommend experimental intervention unless your condition has been unresponsive to standard treatment options. Along that vein, they would also not withhold from you the procedures or medication which could lead you to have improved quality of life. They would not speak to you in a way that distresses or insults you. They would be able to convey information without scaring you. They would respect your time and apologise when they are late due to circumstances out of their control. They would see you as a whole person rather than a collection of organs which visits various specialists.
6. Up to Date
If your condition is one where there is quite a lot of promising emerging research, it would help if your doctor was either directly involved in that or kept up to date with it and told you of any important developments in the field soon after they find out. A doctor who is open to patients sending them links to scientific articles and discussing their relevance to your treatment would be admirable too.
After reading this, if you feel like you have been unhappy with your current doctor, please consider speaking to them about your concerns or looking around for someone else. There are some very good doctors out there who have all of the above traits. It may take a while to find the right person but since it is a chronic condition you are struggling with it makes a lot of sense to put in the effort to find someone who makes you feel genuinely cared for as your health partner in the long run.
Janani Dhinakaran PhD helps those with Chronic Illnesses improve their quality of life using Positive Lifestyle Changes. She specialises in Autoimmunity but has a wide range of experience with Prediabetes, Anxiety, Acidity, Weight Loss etc. https://riselife.org/testimonials/ She can be reached at janani@riselife.org