Emotional Detox for Improved Health
Questions and Resources to Address Emotional Contributors of Chronic Illnesses
While awareness of the impact of lifestyle on chronic illnesses has increased in recent times, the emotional elements behind illnesses such as diabetes, autoimmunity, hypertension etc. are not often acknowledged. The fields of Psychoneuroendocrinology and Psychoneuroimmunology however have mounting data to show how our thoughts, emotions and behaviours also immediately and powerfully influence our hormones and immune systems. In other healing systems such as Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and Ayurveda, the role of emotions in health is well acknowledged. Whether the emotions are the driving factor of the illness, as in the case of psychosomatic illnesses, or merely a contributing factor, it is not a stretch to say that if the emotional aspect of wellbeing were addressed, it gives us a better fighting chance against the other contributing factors of the illness.
In this article I will provide some questions I hope you will find useful. Either by yourself, with a trusted partner/group, mentor, or with a professional, you can investigate the questions to see if there are any emotional knots on those fronts. Further, you can explore whether releasing the emotions or resolving the issues in some way would help improve your health and wellbeing. The direct mechanism of how it would help your physical condition may not be obvious (though some patterns and mechanisms have been observed and recorded in TCM) but perhaps allowing your intuition to speak to you on what feels important would help.
I also make some suggestions on what can be done when you discover these emotional knots. By no means is this a comprehensive list of helpful resources so if you would like to add any more, I’d welcome your comments.
Just a warning though — deep diving into some of these issues may be extremely difficult. Processing them at a conscious level is something we have made a habit of avoiding. We may have also created elaborate defensive distraction techniques and self delusions. It takes a certain amount of courage and, as far as I’ve seen, a certain amount of desperation about your illness to be able to cut through and face the emotions and memories which arise. If at any time you feel overwhelmed, please seek help. But I encourage you not to give up. Sometimes, the right question at the right time may lead you to profound change. When you emerge on the other side, you are likely to feel lighter, more hopeful and perhaps even transformed in your mind and body.
The questions:
- Do you feel safe?
- Do you feel like you belong?
- Do you feel loved?
- Do you feel like you are contributing enough and making a positive impact?
- Are you suppressing or holding on (for prolonged periods of time) to any strong emotion such as Anger, Sadness, Anxiety, Fear, Stress
- What are you not acknowledging?
- What are you unwilling to face?
- Are you acting against your nature or values?
- Do you find yourself in conflict with others too frequently?
- Do you or does anyone else attack your self worth?
- What don’t you want to remember?
- What loss are you unable to reconcile?
- What wrong was done to you that you are not able to forgive?
- Are you lonely?
- Do you feel conflicted?
- Do you feel unworthy of happiness?
- Do you feel unworthy of good health?
- Are your current symptoms serving you positively in any way?
- Do you feel sufficient in your
(a) Purpose and meaning in life (b) Agency and control over your own life (c) Power (d) Freedom (e) Social integration (f) Play (g) Inner peace (h) Transcendent experiences such as music, nature etc. (i) Connection to Nature or a higher power
Suggestions and Resources
Practical Steps
For many of these questions, practical ideas on addressing factors that you previously didn’t consider important or related may come up. I applaud such thinking and encourage you to take steps to resolving the issues at that level wherever possible. For example, if you need more connection with Nature or a higher power, going to a place of natural beauty or a place of worship may begin to alleviate that need. But there may be some questions that require internal reflection, exploration, processing and release.
Observe your reactions as you read the question one by one. There may be an aversion to some of these questions, or a quick brushing aside of them. Maybe close your eyes and feel into your body. Do you feel a tightness or discomfort anywhere? Allow it to be. Send it love and give it comfort like you would to a crying child who is reaching out to be held. Despite the pain and discomfort it may bring you to witness it, rather than rejecting it and shutting the door like we normally do to anything unpleasant, give it space and acceptance for what it is. It is what you feel. Allow yourself to feel it. Fully. Breathe into it slowly and deeply five to ten times and see if it changes in shape, colour, weight or location. You can keep giving it space, comfort and deep breaths for as long as you feel comfortable.
Come back to discover what happened to it in a few hours or maybe the next day. This bodily awareness of emotions has been reported to be very useful in healing. The practice goes back to Yogic and Daoist practices but has been well incorporated by psychologists today too. When you feel free in the body and breathe normally as you sit with the question, you can end the practice or move on to another question when you feel ready.
The order, pace, intensity, and frequency with which people take on these questions will differ greatly. Those who are feeling particularly courageous or desperate and are willing to open and feel anything with full sincerity and honesty will make the time and emotional space for this process and for them it may move faster. Though it is difficult, resistance to the truth of your own emotions will only make it all slower and more painful. Seek the help you need to help ease this process for you.
Apart from this method, some people find it useful to write about their feelings. Writing can be a great release and a way to consciously slow down and organise the flow of thoughts and feelings into coherent sentences. As you do it more frequently and get into the flow of writing, all kinds of unexpected turns in narration may find itself taking place on paper. You begin to freely associate and something within you may guide you to topics, memories or thought patterns which may be in need of some healing. Writing can be a key to observing yourself and understanding experiences that shaped you. It can also hold up a mirror to the stressors and emotional pain you’ve been through. If you find your emotions intensify as you write, stay with it and breathe. The emotions need acceptance, compassion and release. It may also take quite a lot of release before you feel like it’s all out, so patience will also help.
Visual journaling is a helpful technique for those who have such strong emotional reactions that they are unable to organise their thoughts and just need to let it out. It involves taking crayons, paint or colour pencils and letting the colours express your feelings. Many of the sheets may have jagged lines, dark patterns, spirals, circles, and unrefined shapes. It is not meant to be art, conscious or deliberate, but a release of emotion through colour. Pressing down on paper with crayons and full bright colour can feel quite cathartic. Some people use this alongside writing in words since after the emotional energy has been released they are able to think more clearly.
For some, talking may be more effective since the other person may be able to prompt the conversation to stay on track and see the inquiry to the end. Therapists, mentors, friends, or a family member may be able to play the role here. Let your gut guide you on who would be the most appropriate partner. In some cases, talking to yourself may be most helpful if you have already developed a friendship with your inner self. And it’s never too late to start talking to yourself.
Psychosynthesis which tends to incorporate spiritual aspects with psychological work can be particularly useful for situations of inner conflict and when you need meaning, purpose and a connection to something higher. Clinical hypnosis may also be helpful when recommended by an experienced therapist.
Flower essence remedies are also known to be effective for balancing emotions. Though their mechanism is unclear, countless people have experienced firsthand the impressive effect of the flowers. Acupuncture, massage therapy, and certain herbs may also be helpful. Seeking compassionate and knowledgeable professionals to partner with you may help you unravel emotions without invasive dredging and reliving.
Mind Body Techniques
Expression arts therapy such as Drama, Music, Dance and Art therapy are known to help you use non verbal methods of releasing emotions.
Meditation, Yoga, Qigong, Pranayama, Tai Chi and certain kinds of dance are all mindbody disciplines which have shown over centuries to be helpful in resolving physical and mental imbalances. Incorporating these practices into your routine may lead to surprising discoveries of how your emotional knots prevent movement you used to be able to do. Using the physicality of your body to release an emotion which in turn or simultaneously releases the contributing pressures from your physical illness goes to show just how beautifully interconnected the mind and body are. Indeed they are one and the same. Working on these may lead to major releases and significant changes in your chronic illness.
Books
Several books by experts are available for better understanding and offering help. You may find some books in this list more helpful than others based on what you are struggling with:
Forgive for Good by Fred Luskin
This book explains the phenomenal benefits of forgiveness on your own health.
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Dr Van der Kolk explains the impact of trauma on the brain and explores non pharmaceutical methods to heal the source of the problem which has spiralled out to cause physical illness, great psychological pain and impediments.
Say What You Mean by Oren J Sofer
The author combines the disciplines of Non Violent Communication, Mindfulness and Somatics to bring powerful insights into ourselves and relationships. If communication is part of the resolution for you, this book is of great value.
Perfect Love Imperfect Relationships by John Welwood
This book explores how our wounds transform into patterns which impede our ability to give and receive love. He goes into why loving and accepting ourselves enables us to better love others.
Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
This is one more resource for those who need to understand and express their feelings and needs sincerely and listen with empathy in order to heal.
Living Fearlessly by Janani Dhinakaran
This book addresses the question of agency and self-determination without being held back by your own fears of expectations which have dictated your life so far.
Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans
When going through transitions and trying to understand your purpose, this book has helpful exercises to discover what gives you most engagement, energy and balance in life.
One of my clients reported that a question I had asked her led her to write and dive deeper into a question that hurt to explore. After three days of writing and crying she felt free. She went through several cycles of this with various questions I asked over the months we worked together and found improvement in her chronic condition which coincided with these releases. It was brave of her to introspect as deeply and honestly as she did.
Many others find it difficult and keep avoiding the questions. Escaping to overwork, overeat, drink too much, watch TV, Youtube, read books and lose yourself in computer games is certainly easier than doing this work. Have compassion for yourself when you tend to do this. But keep coming back to try again. When you distract yourself from this work you are still as stuck as you were before with the toxic emotions in your body and the illness you are suffering. There are so many resources to explore here, surely some of them will help you. I implore you to take the harder road that leads you to health. And if you need the help, I’d gladly offer you my hand.
If you have already been through such a healing journey where a psychological element was strongly involved it would be wonderful to hear your story, what questions prompted your journey of unraveling your emotional knots and your healing. I wish you all great healing.